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Jamie Survivors
Y.A.M.A.H
No Context
863
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Posted - 2015.08.30 02:37:00 -
[1] - Quote
A blonde girl comes back from school one evening. She runs to her mum and says: "Mummy today at school we learned how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5, 6,7,8,9,10! It's good, innit?" "Yes, darling, very good." Answers the mom. "Is that because I'm blonde?" she asks. "Yes, darling, it's because you're blonde." The mom says. Next day, the little girl comes back from school and says: "Mummy, today at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D, but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K! It's good, innit?" "Yes, darling, very good." Answers the mom. "Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?" she asks. "Yes, darling it's because you're blonde." The mom says. Next Day, she returns from school and cries: "Mummy, today we went swimming. Well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!" She proceeds to flash her impressive 36D at her mummy. "Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?" "No darling, it's because you're 25."
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
Y.A.M.A.H
No Context
901
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Posted - 2015.08.30 15:29:00 -
[2] - Quote
Back in the early 80's Chevy Chase was one of the stars on Password. Toward the end of the game this black woman was ahead in points so she and Chevy were paired togetherfor the final part. He said the key word and she responded. Like this... he said calf, she said cow. Then it was kid, and she said goat. Finally he said doe, she said knob. Chevy busted into laughter.... He laughed so hard they didnt even get the chance to finish the game. Doe...Knob
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
Y.A.M.A.H
No Context
901
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Posted - 2015.08.30 15:33:00 -
[3] - Quote
I will be posting something as I come across some! If you have anything please share! If you came in to view these post you done came to far, you might as well post......hello! Even if its something in game. Hey post it, no hard feelings!!!!!!!!
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
Y.A.M.A.H
No Context
951
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Posted - 2015.08.30 18:10:00 -
[4] - Quote
A blonde was hunched over the bar, toothpick in hand, spearing futilely at the olive in her drink. A dozen times the olive eluded her. Finally, another patron, who had been watching intently from the next stool, became exasperated and grabbed the toothpick. "Here, this is how you do it." he said, as he easily skewered the olive. "Big Deal," muttered the blonde. "I already had him so tired out, he couldn't get away."
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
Y.A.M.A.H
No Context
951
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Posted - 2015.08.30 18:18:00 -
[5] - Quote
A blonde who had been unemployed for several months got a job with Public Works. She was to paint lines down the center of a rural road. The supervisor told her that she was on probation and that she must stay at or above the set average of 2 miles per day to remain employed. The blonde agreed to the conditions and starts right away. The supervisor checking up at the end of the day, found that the blonde had completed 4 miles on her first day, double the average! "Great," he told her, "I think you're really going to work out." The next day, however, he was disappointed to find that the blonde only accomplished 2 miles. The supervisor thought, "Well she's still at the average and I don't want to discourage her, so I'll just keep quiet." On the third day, the blonde only did one mile and the boss thought, "I need to talk to her before this gets any worse." The boss pulled the new employee in and says, "You were doing so great. The first day you did 4 miles, the second day 2 miles, but yesterday you only did one mile. Why? Is there a problem? An injury, equipment failure? What's keeping you from meeting the 2 mile minimum?" The blonde replied, "Well, each day I keep getting further and further away from the bucket."
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
Y.A.M.A.H
No Context
952
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Posted - 2015.08.30 18:36:00 -
[6] - Quote
soulreaper73 wrote:google nestle knockout
Lol good one Soulreaper! This is it!
The nestle knockout is when you fist a s*xual partner in the a** while punching them in the face with the other hand. It is usually performed while having s*x in the doggy style position.
The word was first used in the main stream by comedian Bill Dawes in a stand up routine.
So I put a finger in her butt, and she was like: "Umm, what are you doing?!? Put your whole fist in there! And punch me in the face! I want the whole Nestle Knockout!!!"
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
Y.A.M.A.H
No Context
963
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Posted - 2015.08.31 00:20:00 -
[7] - Quote
A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen." "That's a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?" "No," she replied. As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most - cars and men. Therefore I chose "Carmen". "What's your name?" she asked. He answered "B.J. Titsengolf."
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
Y.A.M.A.H
No Context
964
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Posted - 2015.08.31 01:06:00 -
[8] - Quote
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?" "Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress." "Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce!" "I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris , no more wintering in Barbados , no more summers in Tuscany , no more Infiniti or Lexus in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours." Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife. "That's his mistress," says her husband. "Ours is prettier," she replies.
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
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Posted - 2015.09.02 00:39:00 -
[9] - Quote
soulreaper73 wrote:Jamie Survivors wrote:soulreaper73 wrote:google nestle knockout Lol good one Soulreaper! This is it! The nestle knockout is when you fist a s*xual partner in the a** while punching them in the face with the other hand. It is usually performed while having s*x in the doggy style position. The word was first used in the main stream by comedian Bill Dawes in a stand up routine. So I put a finger in her butt, and she was like: "Umm, what are you doing?!? Put your whole fist in there! And punch me in the face! I want the whole Nestle Knockout!!!" I actually think you are supposed to use the hand that was doing the fist thing for the knockout blow,
Funny either way! lol
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
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Posted - 2015.09.02 00:40:00 -
[10] - Quote
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. "Breast-fed" she replied. "Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered. She did. He pinched her nipples, then pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed, he said, "No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk." "I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came."
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
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Posted - 2015.09.02 18:36:00 -
[11] - Quote
For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it." The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?" Little Patrick told him, "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with an $80,000 mortgage and no bike!" 
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
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Posted - 2015.09.02 20:11:00 -
[12] - Quote
A guy is 86 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up." He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up." He looked in the water and there, floating on the top was a frog. The man said, "Are you talking to me?" The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride." The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket. Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride." He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."
lol this old boy was smart! money hungry bish's....... (when you see a hot young chic with a man about to croak)
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
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Posted - 2015.09.02 22:02:00 -
[13] - Quote
Jonny D Buelle wrote:A bus full of ginger's crashed into the river, not a soul was found.
Lol good one!
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
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Posted - 2015.09.02 23:41:00 -
[14] - Quote
VAHZZ wrote:Wth you guys...
???? What.... haha Is that your joke!
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
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Posted - 2015.09.03 01:33:00 -
[15] - Quote
One day, while Sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars. A little bit suspicious, she confronted her husband of twenty years about it. "Oh, that," Frank said. "Every time I cheated on you, I put an egg in this box." Sue was a bit unhappy about this, but figured that 3 affairs over twenty years wasn't so bad. "But what about the 10,000 dollars?" "Every time I got a dozen, I sold them."
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
|
Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
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Posted - 2015.09.03 14:10:00 -
[16] - Quote
Sned TheDead wrote:Jamie Survivors wrote:VAHZZ wrote:Wth you guys... ???? What.... haha Is that your joke! Wth= what the hell. and this is nothin' you should see the pub chat when travis jamie and kramer are on. You are lucky to get a word in edge-wise
haha thanks Sned, I'm a bit behind on all the abbreviations! all this eWar and CQC and whatever else is used I get lost in reading and understanding because I don't know what the stand for!
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
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Posted - 2015.09.03 20:11:00 -
[17] - Quote
Sned TheDead wrote:Jamie Survivors wrote:Sned TheDead wrote:Jamie Survivors wrote:VAHZZ wrote:Wth you guys... ???? What.... haha Is that your joke! Wth= what the hell. and this is nothin' you should see the pub chat when travis jamie and kramer are on. You are lucky to get a word in edge-wise haha thanks Sned, I'm a bit behind on all the abbreviations! all this eWar and CQC and whatever else is used I get lost in reading and understanding because I don't know what the stand for! I think wish texted you last night, but in case he didn't: E-War is electronic warfare, and CQC is close quarters combat. If you have any others, I'd be happy to look them up for you :)
Yeah I got his text on it! Thanks
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
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Posted - 2015.09.04 01:02:00 -
[18] - Quote
*Party Down South* woohoo
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
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Posted - 2015.09.06 00:20:00 -
[19] - Quote
A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless world-class practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was and his brother replied, "Don't worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter. But the hospital was in a real hurry to get the birth certificates filed and since both you and your wife were unconscious, I named them for you." The husband was thinking to himself, "Oh no, what has he done now?" and said with trepidation, "Well what did you name them?" The brother replied, "I named the little girl Denise." The husband, relieved, said, "That's a very pretty name! What did you come up with for my son?" The brother replied, "Denephew."
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
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Posted - 2015.09.07 00:18:00 -
[20] - Quote
Who likes "FEAR THE WALKING DEAD" like it up!
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
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Posted - 2015.09.08 02:23:00 -
[21] - Quote
Six Cups of Coffee Freddie was eighteen years old, friendly, and eager to do things right. Unfortunately, he wasn't especially bright. He had just started his first job, as a delivery boy and general go-fer at a furniture warehouse. His first task was to go out for coffee. He walked into a nearby coffee shop carrying a large thermos. When the counterman finally noticed him, he held up the thermos. "Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?" he said. The counterman looked at the thermos, hesitated for a few seconds, then finally said, "Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me." "Good," Freddie said. "Give me two regular, two black, and two decaf."
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
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Posted - 2015.09.08 02:25:00 -
[22] - Quote
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. 'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.' Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.' She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean, what in the world is this?' (you're gonna love this) The bank manager looks back at her and says... 'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone.' (You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........) Never take life too seriously! Come on now, you grinned, I know you did!!!
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
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Posted - 2015.09.25 03:09:00 -
[23] - Quote
VAHZZ wrote:I warned you.
The guy goes into the hospital, okay? His wife's just had a baby and he can't wait to see them both. So he meets the doctor and he says, 'Oh, Doc, I've been so worried. How are they?' And the doctor smiles and says, 'They're fine. Just fine. Your wife's delivered a healthy baby boy and they're both in tip-top form. You're one lucky guy.' So the guy rushes into the maternity ward with his flowers. But it's empty. His wife's bed is empty. 'Doc?' He says and turns around and the doctor and all the nurses wave their arms and scream in his face. 'April fools! Your wife's dead and the baby's a spastic!!'
Lol
Good one! No need for warnings! Please share
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
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Posted - 2015.09.27 19:15:00 -
[24] - Quote
Ummm ok what is CYOA? I'm not good with most abbreviations!
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
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Posted - 2015.09.27 20:54:00 -
[25] - Quote
Oh ok thanks! I just haven't done any jokes in awhile a bit difficult doing it off my phone at work and left my computer at home which it made it easier to read up and keep up on forums!
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
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Posted - 2015.09.28 00:39:00 -
[26] - Quote
jerrmy12 kahoalii wrote:Jamie Survivors wrote:Oh ok thanks! I just haven't done any jokes in awhile a bit difficult doing it off my phone at work and left my computer at home which it made it easier to read up and keep up on forums! some guy just sh*tposts on multiple threads pasting that pasta, a slightly different one. all the time bats are mentioned, it's funny.
Who's the some guy? Pasting pasta hmmm..... 1 spaghetti 2 spaghetti 3......... Fettucinni! Quit being a Winnie!
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
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Posted - 2015.09.28 23:05:00 -
[27] - Quote
RogueTrooper 2000AD wrote:I make myself laugh.
Everyone's a winner.
^ true
In a crowd just started laughing, everyone looks what's wrong with this guy!
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
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Posted - 2015.09.28 23:06:00 -
[28] - Quote
jerrmy12 kahoalii wrote:Jamie Survivors wrote:jerrmy12 kahoalii wrote:Jamie Survivors wrote:Oh ok thanks! I just haven't done any jokes in awhile a bit difficult doing it off my phone at work and left my computer at home which it made it easier to read up and keep up on forums! some guy just sh*tposts on multiple threads pasting that pasta, a slightly different one. all the time bats are mentioned, it's funny. Who's the some guy? Pasting pasta hmmm..... 1 spaghetti 2 spaghetti 3......... Fettucinni! Quit being a Winnie! i don't remember what he went by, i'd have to search the archives
Alrighty!
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
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Posted - 2015.09.29 01:50:00 -
[29] - Quote
jerrmy12 kahoalii wrote:"A CYOA that's all about childish memes and ********, fanmade batshit that the autists in this fandom made up just so they could finally create that special, edgy-looking OC they've always wanted? You batfags truly are cancer that is shitting up everything by shoving your autistic OCs and ******** headcanons about Luna's guards down everyones throats."
"Reminder that you are the cancer that is destroying this fandom by shoving your autistic headcanons about Luna's guards and your edgy-looking, snowflake OCs everywhere."
">No one can talk about Luna's guards without a batfag showing up and shitting up everything with his autistic headcanons and snowflake OCs
>The CYOA Discussion general is almost impossible to hang out in because batfags keeps circlejerking over the batcancerous characters who are in some CYOAs
You really are the cancer that is destroying this place with your fanmade and snowflake batshit."
this guy posts this every day.
Lol ok that's ******** to keep copying and pasting that everyday! Maybe he's the snowflake unicorn batfag headcannon cancer!
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
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Posted - 2015.09.30 23:18:00 -
[30] - Quote
Very good...... 2berries thanks for sharing
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
No Context
1
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Posted - 2015.10.02 01:21:00 -
[31] - Quote
Jonny D Buelle wrote:Posted this in another joke thread:
So there is this saw mill in Ireland where they have this really wierd rule about amputations. The rule is thst if you cut your finger off, you stick it up your ass to stop the bleeding.
One day, Patty and Mick were working at the mill one day, Patty slipped and cut his finger off on one of the saw blades. He freaked out, pulled down his pants, and shoved his finger up his ass and pulled it out. It was still bleeding!
He freaked put even more and turned to Mick, saying: "Mick, I cut me bloody finger off, I shoved it up me ass and it's still bleeding."
Mick thought about it and then said, "You better shove it up me ass then." So he bent over, Patty shoved his finger up his ass and pulled it out. It was still bleeding, so Mick said "This is serious, you better show the foreman."
So Patty walks all the way over to the other side of the factory to see the foreman. He then said, "Foreman, I cut me bloody finger off, I shoved it up me ass, still bleeding, shoved it up Micks ass, and its still bleeding!"
The Foreman thought about it foe a second, then said: "You better shove it up me ass then!" So the Forement bent over, and he shoved it up his ass. When he pulled it out, it was still bleeding. "This is very serious," said the Foreman, "you better go to the manager!"
So Patty walked all the way over to the manager's office. When he got inside he explained: "I cut me bloody finger off, shoved it up me ass, still bleeding, shoved it up Mick's ass, still bleeding, shoved it up the Foreman's ass, and it's still f.cking bleeding!"
The manager stood up and said, "This is serious, better shove it up me ass!" So the Foreman bent over, Patty shoved it up his ass, pulled it out and it was still bleeding. "This is very serious," the manager said, "you better go see the nurse!"
So Patty walked over to the Nurse's office. When he got in, she asked him "What is the matter Patty?"
Patty took in a deep breathe, then said: "I cut me bloody finger off, shoved it up me ass, still bleeding, shoved it up Mick's ass, still bleeding, shoved it up Foreman's ass, still bleeding, shoved it up the Manager's ass, and it's still f.cking bleeding!"
The nurse thought about it, then said: "Well you better shove it up me ass!" So she stood up, bent over the desk and lifted her skirt. A minute later she screams "Patty! That's not me ass!"
And Patty says: "That's not me finger!"
Lol
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.10.14 13:50:00 -
[32] - Quote
Explanation of it's own! Lol
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.10.14 16:16:00 -
[33] - Quote
Bump!
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.10.15 01:02:00 -
[34] - Quote
sir RAVEN WING wrote:Here is an old one.
I'm going to be using Sned, Jamie, and Jonny for this one.
Alright, so Sned, Jamie, and Jonny are walking down the road, with no where to go in the middle of a rainy night.
An old farmer comes by, he offers them to be able to stay in his house, as long as they don't touch his daughter.
In the morning, the farmer comes in to obvious proof she'd been getting it on under the sheets with one of them, but the farmer didn't know which one.
Jonny blamed Sned.
Sned blamed Jamie.
Jamie blamed Jonny.
The farmer got tired of the bickering, left the room and came back with a shotgun and said "Alright, each of ya go out to my fields and take 10 of a plant." With that each of them go out to the farmer's fields.
Sned comes back with grapes. The farmer goes ahead and says "Alright, boy, now shove 'em up yo'r ass."
Sned tries, but can't finish because he is laughing too hard. The farmer shoots him, and he then lay there laughing while grabbing his leg.
Jamie comes back with apples. The farmer repeats his demand to Jamie. Jamie tries, but fails like Sned. He gets shot and then lies on the ground laughing while bleeding.
The farmer looks at them both confused and asks "I just shot yo'r asses, why ya still laughing?"
Sned and Jamie said together "Because Jonny is out there getting watermelons."
Lmao!
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.10.15 19:22:00 -
[35] - Quote
Sure sure!
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.10.17 14:07:00 -
[36] - Quote
Sned TheDead wrote:so.....
started reading that.... thing
can see why you called it autisim.
yep......
well I shall do my best to finish it, though I am a tad lost, due to me not recognizing the character names, but so far google searches have remedied that
??
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.10.17 14:08:00 -
[37] - Quote
Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect desert camping and riding trip.
Two days before the group is to leave Rob's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Rob's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Rob sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and supper cooking on the fire.
"Dang man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who'?"
I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie. She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose pedals all over. She had on the bed, handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did. And then she said, "now, you can do what ever you want."
So here I am.
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.10.17 14:09:00 -
[38] - Quote
The Teacher says to the class: Who ever stands up is stupid
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: I said who ever stands up is STUPID!
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: Johnny, do you really think that you are stupid?
Little Johnny: No Mrs, I just thought that maybe you are lonely being the only one standing.
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.10.17 14:23:00 -
[39] - Quote
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.10.19 00:13:00 -
[40] - Quote
How could that be?
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.10.19 05:57:00 -
[41] - Quote
Sned TheDead wrote:I have arrived at chapter nine of the fan fic, and I.....
well chapter nine wasn't as bad as the ones before it, but damn.....
I mean, I think of some pretty effed up stuff but shiit.....
any way, I (hopefully) will be done with it by next week, will post again on tuesday on my progress.
On our Fanfic or something else?
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.10.19 13:49:00 -
[42] - Quote
Sned TheDead wrote:Jamie Survivors wrote:Sned TheDead wrote:I have arrived at chapter nine of the fan fic, and I.....
well chapter nine wasn't as bad as the ones before it, but damn.....
I mean, I think of some pretty effed up stuff but shiit.....
any way, I (hopefully) will be done with it by next week, will post again on tuesday on my progress. On our Fanfic or something else? no the one that jerremy posted the warning to.
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.10.26 16:05:00 -
[43] - Quote
Don't Mess With Boudreaux
A very drunk patron at a bar is trying to impress everyone with his fighting ability. "I am trained in every hand-to-hand combat there is," he says. To further prove his point, he walks up to Boudreaux, who happened to be in the bar, and whops him behind the neck! "Karate chop from China," he says. Poor Boudreaux gets up off the floor and sits back in his seat, saying nothing. The big man hits him again. "Judo from Japan." L'il ol' Boudreaux once again picks himself up off the floor and continues sipping his beer. The man grabs him putting Boudreaux in a state of suspended animation. "That's a nerve pinch from Korea." After a few minutes, Boudreaux is able to move again. Instead of getting back on his bar stool he walks out. Ten minutes later he walks in with a large board in his hands and hits the drunk square in the head with the board, laying him flat out on the floor. Looking down at his tormenter, Boudreaux says, "Two-by-four from Home Depot."
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.10.31 14:31:00 -
[44] - Quote
The New Driver and the Freeway Signs
A policeman pulls over a car with a new driver....
Policeman: "Ok Ma'am, this is a 55 MPH freeway -- why were you driving so slow?"
Driver: "Officer, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 55."
Policeman: "Are you a new driver?"
Driver: "Yes, I just got my driver's license last week."
Policeman: "Well, Ma'am, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the freeway that you're on! You are driving on the 22 freeway!"
Driver: "Oh! Silly me! Thank you for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
Then the policeman looks in the back seat, and he sees that the new driver's friends are shaking and crying!
Policeman: "One more thing, Ma'am... what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking really bad, and they are crying!"
Driver: "Oh, it's nothing serious, we just turned off of Highway 125."
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.10.31 14:35:00 -
[45] - Quote
The Accident
There was this Hell's Angel riding down the road on his motorcycle last winter. He was wearing a leather jacket that had a broken zipper. He finally stopped the bike and thought to himself, "Man, I can't drive anymore with the cold air hitting me in my chest." So he decided to put the coat on backwards to block the air from hitting him. He continued driving and came around a bend in the road, lost control and wrecked, coincidentally, right in front of Boudreaux's house. Boudreaux happened to see what happened, and called the State Police to report the accident. The Trooper on the phone asked him, "Is the guy showing any sign of life?" "Well," Boudreaux told him, "He was until I turned his head around the right way!"
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.11.01 16:10:00 -
[46] - Quote
duster 35000 wrote:>situation
>words
>joke
i do good?
It Depends!
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.11.01 16:14:00 -
[47] - Quote
Jonny D Buelle wrote:So there is this old mantinence worker who has been working every single day of his life since he turned 13. He knows how to fix just about anything.
Anyway this old man, he dies and he shows up to St. Peter's gate. St. Peter looks at the man and says "Look, you seem like a nice guy, but you sinned on Earth, so I got to send you to hell." So this old man was thrown into Hell.
When he got there, the place was so ******* hot, you could cook a boiled egg in your own sweat. The man looked around for a bit and found the problem, the AC had been broken for a few thousand years. So he did a little tinkering and fixrd it. Now Hell wasn't so damn hot.
The man then decided he wanted to lounge by the lake, so he walked down to the lake, only to find it was on fire! He tracked the problem down to a leaky gas line that caught fire. So he patched up the leak, put out the fire, and after about a week, the lake was nice and beautiful.
After about a month or two, God decided to go to hell to check up on things and see how Satan was doing. As he walked around he noticed that it was now like paradise. It wasn't to hot and the lake was nice and beautiful, hell even the demons were happy and enjoying themselves while sunbathing.
God called out to Satan and said, "What in my son's name is going on here? This place is suppose to be Hell, not a 5 star resort."
"Well," said Satan, "there is this old man who fixed everything, now it ain't so bad here."
"Well, he derserves to be in Heaven!" God said, "and if you don't hand him over, I'll sue your ass off!"
And Satan said: "Good luck finding a lawyer in heaven!"
Lol ******* lawyers!
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.11.01 16:24:00 -
[48] - Quote
A man was walking along Main Street when he found a penguin walking along the road near the river, so he picked it up and took it to the local police station.
He told the policeman at the desk, "I found this penguin on Main Street, near the river. What should I do with it?"
The policeman looked at the man and said, "It's obvious what you should do with it! Take the penguin to the City Zoo!"
The man said, "Oh, of course! I'll take it to the zoo." and he left the police station with the penguin under his arm.
The next day the policeman was on duty on Main Street when he saw the same man walking along the street with the penguin by his side. The policeman stopped the man and said, "I thought I told you to take the penguin to the zoo?"
The man replied, "Yes, I did. I took the penguin to the zoo yesterday. We had a lot of fun! Today we're going to the City Museum!"
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.11.01 16:33:00 -
[49] - Quote
One day a couple years ago I was sitting in a classroom. Well curious was the class instructor wanted
To know where we was from.... Well he asked the first two guys and they replied city and state where
they lived. Then there was this older man about 65. He said wow sir you the oldest here I bet you've
been around..... so where you from? He replies well... In from my Momma's P.U.S.S.Y!
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.11.01 17:00:00 -
[50] - Quote
duster 35000 wrote:Jamie Survivors wrote:duster 35000 wrote:>situation
>words
>joke
i do good? It Depends! >arirve at location >proceed to tell funny joke >everyone laugh >while everyone is laughing, fade to black
You didn't catch my previous statement did you? (Depends) haha got em' *winks*
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.11.01 23:43:00 -
[51] - Quote
duster 35000 wrote:Jamie Survivors wrote:duster 35000 wrote:Jamie Survivors wrote:duster 35000 wrote:>situation
>words
>joke
i do good? It Depends! >arirve at location >proceed to tell funny joke >everyone laugh >while everyone is laughing, fade to black You didn't catch my previous statement did you? (Depends) haha got em' *winks* oh, you mean the segsual innuendo?
Umm those pad things you put on when you are unable to control your bodily discharges!
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.11.01 23:45:00 -
[52] - Quote
Would Marie Remarry?
"Marie," Boudreaux whispered to his wife late one night, "if I died, would you get married again?" "Mais, yeh, I guess," she replied. "Would you sleep in de same bed with him?" "Well, it's de only bed in de house, so I guess I'd have to." "Would you make love to him?" "Cher," Marie said patiently, "I guess, since he'd be my husband." "Would you give him my pickum-up truck?" "No, Boudreaux. I wouldn't never give him your pickum-up truck." she yawned, "Besides, he don't know how to drive a stick shift."
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.11.15 18:58:00 -
[53] - Quote
Bump
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.11.15 23:40:00 -
[54] - Quote
Spademan wrote:What can you do with a sick chemist?
Well if you can't Helium, and you can't Curium, you may as well Barium.
Nice! Lmao
Director of Y.A.M.A.H
Watch your back, I'm the footsteps you hear before getting whacked!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.11.27 00:35:00 -
[55] - Quote
Spademan wrote:A man walks into a zoo but the only animal they have is a dog.
It's a shitzu.
What happens when you breed a bulldog and a shitzu?
The larger player base is waiting!
Port Dust 514 to PS4!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.11.27 03:31:00 -
[56] - Quote
Sned TheDead wrote:Jamie Survivors wrote:Spademan wrote:A man walks into a zoo but the only animal they have is a dog.
It's a shitzu. What happens when you breed a bulldog and a shitzu? what..... oh.... if the next bit is bullsh*t, calling it right now
Haha you got it!
The larger player base is waiting!
Port Dust 514 to PS4!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.11.27 13:17:00 -
[57] - Quote
DustPllayer wrote:I sent in this app, and got rejected I thought it was funny the CEO, however, did not.
Keep it 1 hunnet!
The larger player base is waiting!
Port Dust 514 to PS4!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.11.27 13:21:00 -
[58] - Quote
A flock of sheep are grazing in a field, happily saying "baa baa" to each other and discussing life as usual when suddenly they hear, "moo moo mooooooo!"
The sheep look around to see where the cow is, but they can see only sheep. They carry on grazing as before.
"Moooooo mooooooooooo mmmoo!" they hear again.
One sheep can clearly hear the mooing next to him. He looks at his sheep-friend next to him with a worried look on his face and then asks, "George, why are you saying 'moo'? You're a sheep. Sheep say 'baa!'"
His friend proudly replies, " I know, I know. But I thought it would be a good idea to learn a different language!"
The larger player base is waiting!
Port Dust 514 to PS4!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.11.28 14:24:00 -
[59] - Quote
Radiant Pancake3 wrote:You walk into a strip club expecting to get a boner but instead you found boner repellent.
Can't view your link!
The larger player base is waiting!
Port Dust 514 to PS4!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.11.28 14:27:00 -
[60] - Quote
"I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash, and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox.
And there's one more - that's seventeen!
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut, my eyes are blue-
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke
I'm sure that my left leg is broke.
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb,
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my spine is weak.
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent - my spine ain't straight.
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is-
...WHAT?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is...Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play!"
by Shel Silverstein
The larger player base is waiting!
Port Dust 514 to PS4!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.12.04 11:30:00 -
[61] - Quote
Bump
The larger player base is waiting!
Port Dust 514 to PS4!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.12.23 03:20:00 -
[62] - Quote
Bump
The larger player base is waiting!
Port Dust 514 to PS4!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.12.25 02:15:00 -
[63] - Quote
Kail Mako wrote:Jared Fogle ended his career the same way he started it. Trying to get into smaller pants.
Lmao =ƒÿé
The larger player base is waiting!
Port Dust 514 to PS4!
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Jamie Survivors
1
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Posted - 2015.12.26 04:24:00 -
[64] - Quote
luckyireland wrote:What did one eye say to the other.
Between you and me somthing smells.
That was my cracker joke.
Good one bud! That's so original lol
The larger player base is waiting!
Port Dust 514 to PS4!
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Jamie Survivors
1297
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Posted - 2016.03.20 04:31:00 -
[65] - Quote
Sned TheDead wrote:What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.
Hmmmm
The larger player base is waiting!
Port Dust 514 to PS4!
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